Living A Surrendered Life

As I prepare to head to Modjadjiskloof, South Africa, I cannot help but meditate on everything that had to happen in my life in order to get me to this point. I am the type of person that had to always be in "control"; I was a planner. I liked to know what I was doing, when I was doing it, and how I was going to do it. Boy, how things have changed. Ive realized I dont have to have ANYTHING figured out. The only thing I have to have is FAITH in Jesus! He is my SOURCE FOR ALL THINGS. He is my comfort,my stength, my father, my joy, my refuge, my security, my everything. Everything I am is in him. I look back at my life and this scripture seems to catch me everytime.

"But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand." -Isaiah 64:8

You know there is a lot of things that have happened in my life that I look back on and ask God, "Why was I like that? Why did I do that?, Why did that have to happen to me?" But the truth is if ALL those things hadnt of happened,if I hadnt been that way- so broken and desperate for something- then I would not be where I am today in my relationship with the Lord. Now, I thank God for those trials, sufferings, and oppurtunities because it has made me even stronger in HIM. It shows me just how MIGHTY HE IS TO SAVE. Because there was nothing that could have changed me EXCEPT HIM! I flashback now and can see all the times God was molding and shaping me, and he still is. It is such a beautiful place to be in the hands of the Lord.

I was offered the oppurtunity to go and stay with some dear friends of mine, the Salemi Family, who are now missionaries in South Africa, for a month over Christmas break. Of course, after many nights of prayer God began to show me that this is exactly where he wanted me to be for Christmas. My best friend, Ashley Yarborough, such an amazing woman of God, and I will be departing on December 13 to head to Modjadjiskloof until mid January. Needless to say, it is very much out of my comfort zone to leave my surrondings, much less head to another continent. It would be much easier to stay here with my family and friends and enjoy this beautiful season. But why would I ever think God would ask me to go and do something that his hand was not in? Something he would not equip and sustain me for? I came across this passage, one I am sure everyone is very familiar with, but this seems to be a passage that keeps coming up over and over again. It is like God is speaking directly to me.

"And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him DENY himself and TAKE UP HIS CROSS DAILY AND FOLLOW ME. For whoever would save his life will LOSE it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will SAVE it." -Luke 9:23-24

Wow! It is not an option. We cannot choose which parts of God's holy word applies to us. Sometimes we pick and choose the parts of the Bible we want to follow or which parts will be easy or convinent for us; which ones won't take us out of our comofrt zone too much. Which one's will still alllow us to live OUR life the way WE want. But in HIS WORD he tells us to DENY OURSELVES DAILY AND FOLLOW HIM. Everyday I wake up I have to deny myself-my desires, my wants, my pleasures,my plans, BECAUSE IF I DO, I will be giving up my life whole heartedly to the Lord, and when I do that, that is when I will FIND IT! I am not saying it is easy by all means, BUT it is not suppose to be. There was nothing easy about God sending his one and only son to die on the cross and to take our wrath so that we could be forgiven of our sins and have a personal relationship with him and inherit eternity in the kingdom of heaven. I dont know if we can fully wrap our minds around this type of love. He gave the greatest gift of all, so why cant we give our WHOLE HEARTS, OUR WHOLE LIVES TO HIM? It is already his to begin with- because this is not OUR LIFE- IT IS HIS. We are here to be his hands and feet on earth, to further his kingdom, and to make him known! So now, I no longer live for me, I belong to him. He is my beginning, my forver. No matter how AWESOME the plans I have envisioned for my life may seem, they are nothing compared to the plans the Lord has for me. So I will follow wherever he leads and lay down my life and desires, because I know what he has for me is SO MUCH MORE than anything I could ever have for myself!I TRUST in him!

I am so thankful God has brought me from the darkness I was once living in, to the light- HIS LIGHT! I am marveled at how he has worked in my life and in my heart. I am excited about this amazing oppurtunity he has given me to go to Africa and I am ready to see how he is going to use this to continue molding and preparing me to further his kingdom. I know this is just the beginning and he will continue to reveal himself to me and in my life. In him I find my purpose- even when its uncomfortable, even when its not what I had planned, even when it means denying myself and following him- no matter what the cost, because like I said he gave it all, so...so should we!It is a daily choice to follow him, whether we are here or somewhere else, God wants us to surrender our lives TO HIM, SO IN HIM we find the best life of all. And that is a surrendered life to Christ!